Review by Ken King
FRANKENSTEIN'S ARMY - 2013 USA Release: July 26, 2013 Pellicola, XYZ Films, Sirena Film, The Czech Film Industry Support Programme, Ministry of Culture of the Czech Republic, Dark Sky Films, MPI Media Group Rating: USA: R

During World War II, a group of Stalin's boys go behind enemy lines into eastern Germany, to find some Russian soldiers, reputed to be prisoners of the Nazi's. As they move deeper into the country, they meet stiff resistance from enemy fire and manage to make it through mostly intact.

They have a cameraman along for the mission to record their progress, by the name of Dimitri (Alexander Mercury: WITHOUT REMORSE). The cameraman manages to record all sorts of atrocities as their journey reaches its intended destination. There are the battles they fight along the way, the Russian's raid a farmhouse and have a grand old time, beating the residents, stealing their whisky, getting blitzed and snagging some chickens for dinner. All of this is about as fun as it gets for the soldiers.

The closer they get to their end goal; the way gets weirder.

The group find a few burned up corpses that look somewhat human, but they are something else as well.

The soldiers then find the place they are looking for. It appears to be a countryside monastery. That has been bombed out by what seems to be mortar fire. To make matters even worse, they find piles of bodies that assure this was once a monastery. All the corpses for the most part are nuns. All around them on the grounds are graves that have been exhumed and coffins lay open. Empty.

The Russian's go inside to find their lost comrades.

Once inside the monastery, everything keeps getting stranger. It seems that the place has little in common with a place of worship and more with a machine shop.

Then disaster strikes!

What these days one would consider to be Cyborgs - from a science fiction movie along the lines of director Albert Pyun - attack. After drawing some casualties, the soldiers manage to take out the amalgamated monstrosities with gunfire and grenades. Finding a brief respite with their current situation, the Russians try to call for help with their situation but get no answer.

One of ze Germans are found and they make him show the group where the captured soldiers are kept. He leads the way... right into the waiting arms/blades/pinchers etc. of these nightmarish creatures. More fighting ensues. More people bite the dust once the monsters know where the Russian's location is pinpointed.

The doctor responsible for this bloody mess: none other than the grandson of the original, Viktor Frankenstein, who also has that infamous name (Karel Roden: BLADE II, HELLBOY, THE ABANDONED, ORPHAN). Much like his legendary predecessor, his workspace looks less like a laboratory and more like an abattoir with weird creations milling about and doing various and sundry tasks.

Of course, there are a couple of creations that look somewhat familiar to the trained eye of any fan who follows anything Frankenstein, be it the Universal Studios, Hammer Studios, or even Stuart Gordon and Brian Yuzna's RE-ANIMATOR flicks. The film makers also managed to give a wink and a nudge to anyone that have seen such films as ROBOCOP and Star Wars: Return of the Jedi as well.

Trust me, that familiarity is welcome, when you think about all the Tin Man wannabes clanking through the vast majority of the movie's 84-minute run time. FRANKENSTEIN'S ARMY is directed by Richard Raaphorst, who up to this point, just directed some short films. This would be his first feature length movie.

So, sit back, turn your mind off for a little while, grab some popcorn and a raincoat. You're going to need that last. Blood splashes in copious amounts seemingly through the TV screen.

FINAL THOUGHTS
I remember the trailers for WORST CASE SCENARIO. They looked cool as all get out and I was really looking forward to seeing it. Unfortunately, it never came to fruition, and eventually, when that project fell to the side, like everyone else, I forgot all about it. When I saw the posters for FRANKENSTEIN'S ARMY, I remember being like, "Hey! This reminds me of that other flick...!" I soon found out why. I'm glad this was released. If you dig Found Footage type films, then this is for you. It looks like something that could have been shot in WW II. That's part of its overall appeal. Authenticity. It makes everything better.

Four Shriek Girls

This review copyright 2022 E.C.McMullen Jr.

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