Review by Diane Matson

THE CURIOUS ACCOUNTS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND - 2008 by P.S. Gifford Virtual Tales ISBN: 0-98015063-9

In this collection, an Imaginary Friend (I.F.) shares stories it overhears the author thinking about. Speaking in first person, the I.F. bookends each story with sly commentary. At first I found the I.F. a clever bridge between stories, but it soon becomes apparent the reason the I.F. repeats tales, is because it utterly lacks creativity. By the tenth story, I grew tired of being called a “dear reader” and told to “read on”. After another 10 stories and I was hunting for a long, pointy rock I could shove up the I.F.’s rear, preferably with the assistance of a large mallet. Three quarters of the way into the book, tired of the I.F.’s stagnant personality and repetitive wording, I wished for a handful of six inch nails I could hammer into random parts of the its anatomy.

The I.F. is cocky and full of itself, sure the reader finds each story frightening or disturbing. “Another clever tale, don’t you think?” the I.F. asks.

“No you moron!” I wanted to shriek while watching the I.F. eat a bowl of broken glass covered in hot sauce, seasoned with plenty of salt. Actually, aside from one or two stories with content that aren’t teen appropriate, the content, vocabulary, and phrasing is more appropriate for teenage readers.

Gifford spent his first fifteen years in England, as is evident by the tone and wording he selects. I realized with delight it’s a creative choice, because a handful of stories definitely prove he can write as an American. For the most part, the stories were written in an 1800’s style, much like Edgar Alan Poe’s, though not quite as gripping. For instance, one story used the outdated “whilst.” I also found that, too often, the character’s dialogue unnecessarily echoed his or her actions. For most of the three page stories the endings were projected, rather than foreshadowed. So I’d fling two or three Bookwyrms at the average story (with a pail of acid attached, hoping the I.F. will get a personal delivery).

However, there were a few stories I really enjoyed that definitely deserve four Bookwyrms. These interesting stories moved along, and I smiled when I reached the surprise ending. I loved “Reaching Out,” which focuses on a paranormal skeptic, determined to prove one specific medium a complete phony. “Wicked Intentions” is about a married man, seduced by a young woman who has a killer plan. The most disturbing, yet delightful, story is “The Gastronome,” in which a gourmet chef searches for the ultimate dish.

Love and revenge were beautifully created in “The Nefarious Plan.” Eric Bell lost his love and freedom. I really felt for him, and desperately wanted him to get back at those who destroyed his life. In the delightful ending the punishment absolutely fits the crime.

“You’ve Got Pictures” would make an interesting movie and I loved the play on “you’ve got mail.” I enjoyed the story’s journey about a man who is emailed prophetic. Even though the ending wasn’t quite as satisfying as the rest of the story, I’m happily to hand it four Bookwyrms.

That’s the best of the bunch. Well, I’m off to shovel some week old vomit down the I.F.’s throat.

3 Bookwyrms

This review copyright 2009 E.C.McMullen Jr.

Return to Story Time