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News and Opinion by
E.C.McMullen Jr.
May 11, 2015

LIFEFORCE
MOVIE REVIEW

LIFEFORCE NEWS

Colin Wilson's tongue in cheek comedy novel about Space Vampires, titled aptly enough, THE SPACE VAMPIRES, is finally having new life breathed into it.

When, earlier this week, Cinco De Mayo, 2015, Entertainment Weekly announced,

Chiller to remake Tobe Hooper's space vampire movie Lifeforce

I thought, 'Suits me as it could be a whole lot worse.'

What would be worse? Well, they could leave Tobe Hooper's shit version of Colin Wilson's superior novel as an eternal fait accompli.

UPDATE:

In 2015, Chiller aired to over 38 million households. In 2017 NBCUniversal Cable Networks ended its life on New Years Eve.

TRIVIA

42 year old Tobe Hooper fixated over the 18 year old Mathilda May's vagina, specifically the color, length, and trim of her pubic hair - you know, for the art of cinema - going so far as to demand that May allow him to closely "inspect" her vagina on set, every day.
IMDb.com

22 Things We Learned From the 'Lifeforce' Commentary
- Film School Rejects

How Did This Get Made: Lifeforce, The Original "Shlockbuster" (A Literary Documentary)
- Slash Film

*
I can't think of any other director who, after making it big, was fired, replaced, or otherwise removed from the director's chair During actual production, as often as Tobe.
THE DARK (replaced by John Cardos)
VENOM (replaced by Piers Haggard)
POLTERGEIST (replaced / overwhelmed by Steven Spielberg)

^
From a screenplay by Dan O'Bannon [ALIEN, DEAD & BURIED, HEAVY METAL, THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, TOTAL RECALL, HEMOGLOBIN] and
Don Jakoby [EVOLUTION]
with uncredited mop-up by Michael Armstrong (HOUSE OF THE LONG SHADOWS) and Olaf Pooley (THE GODSEND).

~
Again with a screenplay by Dan O'Bannon

Blech!

LIFEFORCE was made when Director Tobe Hooper had descended into his Shyamalan stage: a pit from which he would never emerge.*

While Colin Wilson's novel was intentionally fun and madcap (Space Vampires after all), the story and characters were also compelling.

Tobe was unable to translate the gory comedy of Wilson's novel^ and instead, took himself ridiculously serious.

So the movie winds up being a cheesy camp turd (because Space Vampires.) when it could have been fun (because Space Vampires!). Hooper repeated this mistake the very next year - 1986 - with INVADERS FROM MARS~. A movie I actually like despite there being no naked Mathilda May walking around naked in it.

Both movies have great practical creature effects, though.

1986 was also the year that saw the release of Tobe's THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2. But it too was a dud as well, probably because he couldn't get Mathilda May to walk around naked in it.

And that's pretty much the reason why every single movie Tobe Hooper was both attached to as a director and actually allowed to complete as a director, ever since, was a dud: Mathilda May isn't walking around naked in it.

Nobody in my experience who claims they are a fan of LIFEFORCE, actually likes it. Every Single Person, male or female, who has ever raved of it only has a single focal point: walking around naked in it.

I don't care if you are the biggest STAR TREK or X-MEN geek I've ever met, you aren't turning out for LIFEFORCE to get a fleeting glimpse of actor Patrick Stewart. No, the entire movie is a button tapping fast forward to the next Mathilda naked shot: one long tribute to Mathilda's beautiful youth and nothing more.

Lifeforce Matilda
Mathilda May's nude beauty torpedoed many a movie critic's reason.

It's important to understand that this isn't a personal attack on Tobe Hooper. Some fans are nuts that way, unable to separate the artist from their art, or what they call art.

Having lived in Hollywood for over 10 years, I've met many people in the movie industry and a definite tell of a person is the judgement of those who have worked with him/her.

By all accounts regarding people I've spoke to, Tobe Hooper is a pretty decent guy on and off the set (Actor Patrick Stewart often called Tobe his favorite director.)

Then again, Mick Garris is renown for being a nice guy on and off the set, and he is also renown for making the worst (invariably Stephen King) movies ever made.

That doesn't make them bad people. You'd probably love to have dinner with them and talk movies and you'd both realize that you share a love horror movies for the same reason. Hell, you'd probably talk long into the night.

But being a fan alone isn't enough to make a good movie.

Corpse forced to come to Lifeforce
Corpse forced to Lifeforce!

It's a fact of life that some people are good at their job and some people suck. Some people who suck at making movies don't care. Some people suck at making movies and believe themselves to be brilliant, misunderstood geniuses. Others know they suck at making movies but really wish they didn't and are forever trying to find out why they are cursed (which for me makes movies like BRUTAL MASSACRE: A COMEDY, hilarious! OMG! I know these Penderekis!). And when these filmmakers suck they go to Hollywood to make movies ... so they can keep a roof over their head.

So -

Since we must have remakes, can we also have superior remakes of THE TOMB? STARSHIP TROOPERS? MYSTERYMEN?

Those authors all deserved better treatment.

And speaking of authors deserving better treatment from remakes. Since we are having a POLTERGEIST remake released this month, how about finally giving credit to Richard Matheson for the story?

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