TURBO KID
MOVIE REVIEW

		Review by E.C. McMullen Jr.
TURBO KID - 2015 USA Release: AUG! 28, 2015 EMA Films, Epic Pictures Group, Timpson Films Rating: USA: N/A

It happens. It's damn rare but it does happen.

Enthusiasm

You're watching a movie and within the first ten or so minutes you feel this enthusiasm for the story, the characters, everything the movie makers are doing.

You're not merely enjoying it anymore, you're eagerly anticipating what will happen next. You're getting into the story, characters, every damn thing. This movie has really grabbed you!

You quickly scan the audience around you, are they as into it as you? Some of them are. They're leaning forward, holding a hand of popcorn to their mouth without eating it just yet. Some others are also doing the quick scan. You see each other and smile in that stupid, geeky, giddy way - sharing this wickedly cool moment.

You've all stumbled onto greatness here!

At some point you realize how enthusiastic the movie makers themselves had to be to bring this all out.

At that point the movie becomes a fantastic fun ride and you're nearly dancing in your seat.

This is how I felt watching TURBO KID.

The movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic future set in 1997.

You're just going to have to go with that idea. Right up front, TURBO KID is intentionally hardcore videostore, cheapnis SciFi. For those of you born in 2000, I mean this is 1980s - 1990s Hollywood Video / Mom & Pop rental stores.

This is a tale of an orphan simply known as The Kid (Munroe Chambers: GODSEND) who lives by himself, riding his BMX bicycle as he scrounges through the wasteland for remanent crap that anyone will attach value to and he can trade to his almost friend, Bagu (Romano Orzari: PUNISHER: WAR ZONE, IMMORTALS, THE COLONY), a merchant who deals in scrap heap antiquities in exchange for the bare necessities for survival and, where his favorite comic books are concerned, a tiny piece of life to keep him going.

Through flashbacks we slowly learn how his parents died and that little flame burning in him that wants to, somehow, avenge them. That's where his favorite comic hero, Turbo Rider, comes in.

It's a hard scrapple life for everyone, like Fredrick (Aaron Jeffery: THE INTERVIEW, X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE), the leader of a local BMX bicycle gang. In this alternate future everyone, regardless of age, has got over the embarrassment of getting around on bicycles because there are no gas stations or horses.

But there are other BMX bandits, like the the most dangerous one led by the mysterious Skeletron (Edwin Wright: KING KONG [2005], UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS), a saw-blade shooting, skull-masked figure with wild eyes peering out of the dark pits of his mask, and a twitchy demeanor as if he is a puppet possessed by demons.

Not the FUN kind of BMX Bandits, either!
That said, BMX Bandits helped launch Nicole Kidman's career.

Yet even Skeletron serves a more dangerous master, the sadistic Zeus (Michael Ironside: SCANNERS, SPACEHUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE, V [TV - 1984], PROM NIGHT II, WATCHERS, TOTAL RECALL, STARSHIP TROOPERS, THE OMEGA CODE), NEON CITY, HEAVY METAL 2000, THE SHAFT, THE MACHINIST, REEKER, Masters of Horror: THE V WORD, THE ALPHABET KILLER, TERMINATOR SALVATION, X-MEN: FIRST CLASS).

Zeus has Skeletron capture the weak, forcing them into brutal death games for his pleasure. The winners have the choice of either serving him or dying.

For the moment The Kid is just another face in the crowd, merely brushing the grid of Skeletron's awareness. The Kid keeps a low profile by staying alone and keeping a journal where he's mapped out the most dangerous areas of the wasteland (it's all dangerous but certain areas are redlined as constant danger while others appear to have "peak hours" of danger).

The Kid comes across an area where someone has put fresh human heads on sticks? Yeah, that's a bad place. Best to stay away.

One day while he takes a moment to eat and rest, The Kid is surprised by an overenthusiastic and highly curious girl. Her name is Apple (Laurence Leboeuf: MOTHER!). She's new to the area, and for a place where water is a premium, her clothes and her face are just too clean, she's too pretty, and too naive, to have made it to her age.

Apple is abruptly interested in The Kid and her nature is quite intrusive. The Kid doesn't know what to make of her but everything about her seems like a warning flag to him.

His concern hits a high note when he catches her talking to a fresh corpse and telling it that it doesn't have to worry because she's found someone new to care for her.

The Kid tries to escape, but there's no escaping from the overly friendly Apple.

She absolutely will not stop.

In TURBO KID the world is a decaying garbage dump, slowly scavenged by a humanity already standing in its grave. There will be no coming back.

Whew! As depressing as that reads, its hard to believe that this movie is so enjoyable. I can't think of any other movie quite like this. Who knew the brutal post-Apocalyptic future was so much fun!

Yes, "future was". Keep in mind this happens in 1997.

Anywho -

Apple slowly draws The Kid out of his defensive shell and they begin spending more time together and outside, enjoying life. Being in plain view this much draws attention and nobody ever wants the attention of Skeletron and Zeus, who are always looking for more players for their death games.

So now we have a story! And whatta bloodthirsty gore-fest this tale is!

Unfortunately, TURBO KID also gets an
!!!UNFAIR RACIAL CLICHE ALERT!!!:
There are only two visible non-whites in this movie, Female Guard (Orphée Ladouceur) and Guard #9 (David Loiseau). Neither have a speaking part but they both get plenty of face time in battle. They are also both villains. The only non-whites in this movie are villains. But there's more because this is the UNFAIR RACIAL CLICHE ALERT (URCA).

Go to the UNFAIR RACIAL CLICHE ALERT, but beware! SPOILERS live there!

At the same time TURBO KID is unbelievably charming with lots of heart to spare. Make that hearts to spare. As well as guts, brains, and eyeballs!

TURBO KID is written and directed by three best friends, François Simard (SUMMER OF '84), Anouk Whissell (SUMMER OF '84), and Anouk's brother, Yoann-Karl Whissell (SUMMER OF '84), who grew up renting movies by the bagful and making short movies together for fun, then adding a production crew who got caught up in their spirit, TURBO KID had so many ways it could have gone wrong.

Instead it all went so amazingly Rad!

More like the fun kind of Rad!
Rad helped launch Lori Loughlin's career.

For fans of DEATH RACE 2000, MAD MAX, ARMY OF DARKNESS, SHAUN OF THE DEAD, and ATTACK THE BLOCK, I think you're going to fall in love with the Retro-Maniac TURBO KID.

Five ShriekGirls

This review copyright 2019 E.C.McMullen Jr.

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