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In HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, 1944, the new Count Dracula was quickly brought to life and then vanquished so fast (in the space of about ten minutes), that he wasn't given time to establish himself as character, threat, or much else other than - literally - road kill. But that was the ham-fisted way Universal reintroduced Count Dracula with a new actor (John Carradine: BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, THE HOWLING). This was back in 1945, after the Laemmle family lost control of the studio, and it was handed over to incompetents, so what's done is done. We can't change the past, only learn from it.* So a big bat changes to a man with a top hat, tilted at a rakish angle. He checks out some pretty young woman sleeping in bed, then walks down the steps to the ground below and surreptitiously enters a sleeping man's house. The man wakes and the bat man presents himself as Baron Latos. He asks for shelter in the castle basement from the total stranger, Dr. Franz Edelmann (Onslow Stevens: THE MONSTER AND THE GIRL, THE CREEPER, THEM!), who owns the house, and immediately engages him in a discussion in vampirism - all at 5:00 in the freaking morning. Dr. Abelman is nothing if not gregarious. Baron Latos: "Dr. Edelmann, do you believe in the immortality of the soul?" Yeah, it's tough finding a middle ground between those two. Baron Latos: "You doubt the supernatural?"
"A pillar of salt? Oh sure! So long as it's a one time thing. Rising from the dead, parting the seas, talking snakes, wrestling with angels, living in whales, chatty burning bushes, conversing with ghosts, gambling with Satan, building a tower that can reach heaven, and bears that don't take kindly to bald prophets being mocked by children, I'll grant you. But a super being that can change into a bat? Come my good fellow, you're talking to a man of SCIENCE!" So they walk down into the "castle" (as it were) basement. There, below ground level right next to a window overlooking treetops (!), is Dracula's coffin (!!). Yes, Dracula. Within seconds Baron Latos reveals that he lied, he's really Count Dracula and he needs Edelmann's help. Dracula wants to live, but not as a blood sucking vampire. The whole, sleeping on dirt in a coffin, avoiding sunlight, constantly looking for fresh victims, only drinking your food, it all gets to be a real bitch after the first 100 years. There's never a decent meal, BBQ in the park with friends, or waking up late in the morning next to the warm, sensuous body of your lover. And though you are an immortal, it's not like you can't die. Hell, you die all the damn time! You might die ten times throughout the course of a single human life span! Hunger forces you to drink blood from a woman you'd rather sleep with; intimately suck on some filthy odorous beggar you'd rather not touch with a ten foot pole. You die, quickly rot to a skeleton or dust, are brought back - always in a new place with new people (you have no idea where the hell you are and you could be any damn place) - wind up painfully dying again, are brought back again by an unknown, yet clearly sinister dullard, who arrogantly thinks he's your master: Arrogant moron CAN control you because the idiot holds a ring or locket or some such cheap crap (fortunately you always come back well dressed for any occassion). You get said trinket away from him, put the idiot out of his misery, but a mortal hero, with the comparative strength of a gerbil, irritatingly taunts you with garlic (Argh, that stench!), painfully burns you with a cross or holy water (son of a bitch!), and throws a rock through a window, killing you (god damn sunlight! Shit!). Yet you still come back again, 5 years, 10, possibly a century later in a time and place you know nothing about, by still another cow-eyed half-wit who raised you from the dead so you'll give him your gift of everlasting immortality. Yeah, NUTS to this vampire shit, man! Oh! From the Basement window we can see that the dawn is coming over the treetops Below (!!!). Time for this dipshit vampire to get into his coffin, right next to the window Where the Sun Shines Through. Golly! How will Dracula ever be defeated in THIS movie?(!!!!) (I think my brain is actually hurting by this point.) The next day, Dr. Edelmann talks shop with his nurse, Nina. They are researching mold and fungus and Nina (Jane Adams: THE BRUTE MAN, BATMAN AND ROBIN [1941]) will be the first to benefit by it. What's wrong with the lovely Nina you may ask? When she stands up from the table, we see that she is a spine twisted hunchback. What molds and fungus have to do with corrective vertebrae surgery I've no idea, but I'd be the second to say I'm no expert on the subject (right after my jerk of a university professor who won't shut up about it whenever my name comes up). Sun sets and the staff has been told to expect "Baron Latos". As it happens, Baron Latos knows one of the nurses. What their history is we've no idea but apparently it didn't involve him killing her. Dr. Edelmann discovers a peculiar, unknown parasite in Count Dracula's blood. Franz has no idea what this parasite does (and he doesn't call it a midichlorian) but they should get rid of it. Lawrence Talbot shows up, still trying to die. He was already shot dead in THE WOLF MAN (1941) before the mythos demanded a silver bullet. Then Larry was shot dead by a silver bullet in HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1944!). Universal didn't care if their audience remembered or not in 1945. Not even that Lon Chaney Jr., who plays the werewolf, played the Son of Dracula in 1943! So Dr. Edelmann finds his hands full with both Count Dracula and Lawrence Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr.: [all of the Universal Pictures Wolf Man movies and appearances of the 20th Century], THE GHOST OF FRANKENSTEIN, SON OF DRACULA, HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, HOUSE OF DRACULA, THE MAD GHOUL, WEIRD WOMAN, THE FROZEN GHOST) and they both want help. And wouldn't you know it, both of their problems may be solved by the doctor's research in mold and fungus cultures. Lawrence hasn't been right in the head for some time and when he doesn't get immediate satisfaction to his hairy problem, decides to end it all and throw himself off a cliff into the ocean below. The audience knows that's a meaningless gesture for the immortal Talbot and he should know as well. Which puts his whole tragic "misery and despair" dramatics into shallow perspective. From this moment on, Lawrence is just a whiner going for a swim. Dr. Edelmann believes Talbot may still be alive by having been swept into one of the cliff caves below. Franz finds Talbot, gives him hope, and they stumble across the sleeping body of the Frankenstein creature (oh for crap sake!). So now Dr. Edelmann has Count Dracula, The Wolf Man, and the Frankenstein creature (Glenn Strange). The combination for science experiments on all three proves irresistible and Franz goes down the path of all mad scientists before him. Miss Morrel (Martha O'Driscoll: GHOST CATCHERS) is oddly excited by watching Lawrence transform into a werewolf (behind the safety of metal bars) and falls in lust with him. Then she falls in love with "Baron Latos". Dracula, finding himself attracted to Miss Morrel in turn, has second thoughts about a "cure". After all, despite all the bullshit, there's also that benefit of hypnotizing beautiful women into obeying your every will. Your every will... Ethically speaking, if I was the doctor, having hypnotic powers of seduction would be a much bigger temptation for me than trying to restore an uncontrollable killing machine (Frankenstein's creature), but that may be a personal flaw of mine. Dr. Edelmann has a hospital to run, a werewolf to cure, and a creature to bring back to full power. He has no time for Count Dracula's sudden indecision and farting around with the staff. It's time to give the Count another blood transfusion, this time using the doctor's own blood! Will the villagers get involved? Oh you KNOW they will! If there's one thing I've learned from the Universal monster movies of the 1930s and 40s, it's that only the bloodlust of an angry mob can bring order out of chaos! Will Doctor Edelmann cure Count Dracula? Does Count Dracula still want to be cured? Can Lawrence Talbot ever be cured? Will Miss Morrel be saved from Dracula? Will she fall in love with the Frankenstein creature as well? Will the Frankenstein creature ever have a point in this movie? Nina has a hunch that All of these questions may or may not be answered in THE HOUSE OF DRACULA! Two Shriek Girls
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